I like my women like I like my coffee...

COVERED IN BEES!!!!!!



African bees are famously murderous, but the ones that I've been living with since June had only stung me twice. I learned recently that the guardians of both my front and back doors (yes, two hives) were only tolerating my presence because they are calm during the cold season, which is ending about now. Being stung the first time (at the beginning of July) got me asking around for some help getting rid of my hives. I was led to a guy I already knew (he takes pictures for the school, and gets rid of bees, and repairs motorcycles,...) and he came to my house with two friends that evening. Everyone (except me) was stung several times and a decision was made to regroup.

On Thursday, the guy who was stung in the eye was finally convinced to come again and we began this time prepared with a ladder (to get on the roof), a hammer (to remove the iron sheeting), and many buckets (to put the honeycomb in). We also wrapped ourselves in towels, tied handkerchiefs around our mouths, and put socks on our hands. I was protected better than the others thanks to winters spent preparing for a day in the snow and so was stung many, many less times than them (although I stopped counting after the fifth time I was stung in the neck).

Interesting things I learned about bees:
1) Smoke makes bees not sting so often
2) Crushed bees smell like nail polish remover
3) Bees live for a while after they've stung you so you shouldn't panic when all you can hear is loud buzzing, it's just a hundred death rattles
4) Sunscreen makes bee stings itch less

Interesting things I learned about Tanzanians:
1) Old people know how to do EVERYTHING
2) They will chew honeycomb right away even if doing so compromises the integrity of their bee suit
3) If their hand is covered in honey and bees, it will be licked until it is covered only in bees
4) They will grab honeycomb with their bare-hand as long as there is smoke present
5) Being stung mercilessly in their "office" is no reason for them to stop their work

Interesting things I learned about myself:
1) I will stand under a shower of bees so that I can waft smoke into the hive
2) I will chew honeycomb right away even if doing so compromises the integrity of my bee suit
3) If my hand is covered in honey and bees, it will not be licked, period
4) I will grab honeycomb with improvised tongs as long as there are bees present
5) I can make a suitable bee suit with household cloth so that I will not be stung at all in my "office"
6) I am not allergic to African bees



The bees are now a memory, and all that is left is to pick them off of the comb and then squeeze it for their delicious honey, which we stole.